Myth #1 Asking for consent ruins the mood

False: There are ways to turn them on AND get consent 🔥

Getting clear, enthusiastic consent doesn’t need to be a mood killer.  In fact, when it’s done right it can be a huge turn on. 😍


Here are some fun things you could try:

  • Hold their face gently, look them in the eye and ask “May I kiss you?”
  • Ask “where do you want to be kissed next?” and make them list different body parts for you to keep exploring
  • Tease them! Stop what you’re doing and playfully say “I will only keep touching you if you tell me exactly what you want”. 
  • “Tell me your hottest fantasy” - this is also fun to text each other.
  • Mid passion, stop and whisper what you’d like to do to them; eg “Do you like having your hands held above your head?”
  • Ask “what would make this feel even better?”
  • Massage and tease their butt and say “I will only spank you if you beg for it”
  • Ask “Do you like it when I play with your X like this?”
  • Tell them to “Put my hand where you want it”


Alice Child
Somatic Sexologist and Sex Coach